Finished Winter Poems

Winter 

By Leah

White

Ice cubes

Nice, soft snow

Terrific snow fall

Eventually it stops

Rumbling snow falling off roofs.

Winter

By Brayden

White everywhere

Ice as cold as Antarctica

Translucent as ice

Earthquake noises

Rumbling rain

Winter

By Logan

Windy air

Icicles

Nice, translucent

Transparent as ice

Experience the snow

Raining, Snowing

Winter

By Jack

Warm milo

Ice is cold

North Pole is cold

Translucent ice

Exciting snow

Raining, cold snow

Winter

By Ethan

Winter is freezing

Ice as cold as snow

North Pole is as cold as Antarctica

Translucent like glass

Even colder than the North Pole

Raining, cold snow

Winter

By Jak

Snow has little flakes

Ice as cold as Antarctica

I’m nice and warm inside

Terrible wind

Earthquake noises

Raining

Winter

By Amelia

Wind as cold as snow

Ice as cold as Antarctica

Ice-cold rain

Translucent like snow

Rain as cold as icicles

Winter

By Charlotte

Wet like a rainy day

Ice like the roads

Nice milo as warm as a heater

Tea as warm as a house with the fire on

Eggs as cold as its shell

Rain as colds as the snow

Winter

By Daniel

Wet

Ice

Night

Translucent

Exciting

Rain

Winter

By James

Windy air like frostbite

Ice as deep as snow

Nice snow like paper covering the land

Tilting trees like icicles

Eels frozen in ponds

Really warm hot chocolate

Winter

By Nicholas

Winter is cold

Ice from the clouds

Nice and warm inside

Terrible lightning and thunder

Even lots of snow and ice

Rain beating down

Winter

By Riley

Wind as cold as snow

Ice as cold as ice-blocks

Nice warm milo

Trees covered in snow

Exciting snow

Rain as cold as icicles

Shared Writing

Here is a copy of our latest shared writing. We had to remember a snowy day last winter – what it looked like, felt like and sounded like. We are learning to write a story in three parts – an orientation, a sequence of events and a personal response. The children have been working really hard at "painting pictures with words", asking questions to hook the reader, using similes, onomatopoeia and ellipsis to make their writing more exciting. I think they have done a great job. All the writing is their own words except the last sentence, which I finished off as a temporary ending until we finish writing our story as a class. Ask your child which sentence they wrote. 

 Winter’s Day

Have you ever woken up on a snowy day and seen the sun reflecting on ice like glass? I have. I looked around in the morning light and all I could see was snow. The land looked like a piece of white paper and only the tree trunks were showing. 

First, I ran down the stairs as fast as I could.  I opened our black, shiny door and all I could see was snow surrounding the world.  Then I ran outside “crunch, crunch, crunch!” Grey smoke was billowing out of chimneys and floating into the air.  I could smell fire.  The house next door looked like an igloo.  The ice was transparent.  My house looked like a gigantic snowflake. Dragon smoke came out of my mouth every time I breathed.  My toes felt numb and my hands were freezing. As I puffed out air, I could see translucent glass floating around.  I saw dark sunlight like an eclipse.  Clouds were moving like a dragon's flame across the sky.  The wind was blowing high and hard like a parachute landing on my head.  The wind blew so hard it made a snowstorm. I stuck my tongue out and tasted the snowflakes.  They melted on my warm, wet, slimy tongue. Hail began to fall “crack, crack, crack” on the roof.  When the hail hit me it stung like a bee and it sounded like a giant stomping on the ground.  I ran inside and I sat down in front of a toasty fire. Puddles of water dripped onto the floor.

It felt good to be warm at last.

Co-operative Writing

Learning to Hook our Readers

The children have all learnt to write a recount with three parts: an orientation, a sequence of events and a personal response.  The children were typically beginning their stories with:

Yesterday I went to the park.

Last week we had fish and chips for tea.

In the weekend I played at my friend’s house.

Boring! We decided our next step was to add language features to make our writing more interesting. 

Over the last few weeks, we have looked at using words that paint a picture for our readers. In our orientation we have been learning to add similes, metaphors, onomatopoeia, questions, ellipsis, and direct speech to hook our readers.  We have played with blocks of ice and brainstormed adjectives and similes to describe what ice looked like, felt like and sounded like last winter when school was closed because of snow.

Here are a section of the children’s first attempts to incorporate the language features we have been learning about (only the spelling has been corrected).

James, Trinity, Samuel and Amelia

It was a snowy day and there was paper covering the land.  It was covering cars and homes and trees.  Icicles were floating down like helicopters.  Ice dripped on my head.

Ella, Pou and Brayden

One icy cold morning I was snug in my bed.  When I looked out the window I saw magical ice.  It looked amazing.  It looked like a white piece of paper and a magic snowman.  I saw some ice on the fence dripping like melting snow.

Jack, Noah, Daniel and Riley

Have you ever woken up on a very snowy morning with your door blocked with snow and you couldn’t open the door?

Ethan, Jordan, Logan and Cory

In the frosty morning I woke up “ahhhh”. I went outside and I looked and I saw heaps of snow and I made a snowman.

Charlotte, Leah, Jak and Nicholas

Snow on a cold winter’s morning and the kid’s were all snuggled up in their warm bed… but mum and the kids were as hot as toast.

Liam, Jessica, Seren, Amber

One day I woke up and it seemed magical that snow was everywhere.  Have you ever woken up and seen snow everywhere? I have.  It was as deep as a mountain inside out.  It was snowing like forever! It was as cold as a fridge on you.

Challenge

How many examples of similes, metaphors, onomatopoeia, questions, ellipsis, and direct speech can you find?