Fractured Fairytales - Shared Writing

Narratives- Fractured Fairytales

We are learning to write a fictional narrative by adapting a fairy tale.

We will…

·       Follow the Writing Process – planning, draft copy, editing and publishing

·       Have a title

·       Write three paragraphs: an Orientation, an Complication and a Resolution.

·       Write in past tense.

·       Use direct and/or indirect speech. (dialogue).

·       Use alliteration, imagery, metaphor, onomatopoeia, questions and similes to create pictures  with words and build suspense.

Stage 1 – Planning (whole class)

Fractured Fairytale (based on Hansel and Gretel)

Title: The Rescue

Orientation:

Who - Hansel and Gretel

What  - walking

When – wild, stormy night

Where – outside a haunted house

Complication:

Wolves surround them and want to eat them. 

Resolution

-A knight on a white horse saved them?

-Superman saved them?

-The woman in the gingerbread house saved them?

Stage 2 Shared Writing

Title The Rescue

A Shared Story by Room 2

Orientation

The trees were twisted and their branches were like twisted hands coming down to grab us. The wind was as rough as a tornado.  It was like a thunderstorm starting.  The shiny moon was as bright as the sun in the midnight sky as we walked through the forest.

Complication

Suddenly, Owwwl owwwl … wolves surrounded us! They had teeth as sharp as a cobra’s fangs.  Their fur was like a sheep that had been shorn and had been put onto wolves.  Their claws were sharper than alligator’s’ teeth.  We could feel their hot breath and it smelt like rotten cheese. Their ears were as big as elephant’s ears.  The wolves were as big as lions.  Their snouts were as black as gunpowder.  We could see their evil yellow glowing eyes coming towards me… we felt terrified.  We were shaking like a rattlesnakes tail.  Our faces turned pale with fear. Owwl owwwl… We were surrounded. We tried to run.

Resolution

“Run Gretel, run! I screamed.  We ran through the forest.  The trees branches were as sharp as knives as we ran through them. It felt as though they were trying to eat us. Suddenly we saw lights in the distance – it was a house!   We ran for our lives.  We knocked on the gingerbread door.  Creak…an ancient woman came out.  Her skin was as tough and wrinkled as an elephant's skin.  “ Come in you little rascals and have some milo,” she whispered.  The milo was as warm in my throat.  We were safe at last.

Room 2 Photos on PhotoPeach

Winter’s Day

 By Ella

Whoosh, whoosh, woosh, I came running down the stairs.  I could not believe what I could see.  It was amazing. It was awesome.  The snow looked like a piece of paper turned inside out. I went outside.  It was freezing out there.  I could hear lots of sounds like the wind ‘whoosh, whoosh’. I also heard my dog howling like a woof, “awoool awoool!”  She sounded scared so I got dressed and ran to find her.  Then I found her. Mum said I could play with her in the snow.  When Paul got home, mum and I threw square snowballs at him. It was so funny. Then he made his own snowballs and threw them as well.  Then we got into a snowball fight. I felt excited because I love having snowball fights. It was so much fun. 

 The Frosty Day

 By Ella

Brrr, brrr, brrr … one frosty morning I was as cold as a freezer.  It was the coldest day on earth. My mum came into my room and said, “Come on, come on, wake up.”  I said, “No it’s way too cold today.”  But I had to get up. I looked through the window, it was unbelievable.  I didn’t know it was going to snow. All I could see was nothing except for tree trunks. It looked like a piece of paper.  The fences looked like they had been painted white overnight. When everyone was ready we had a snowball fight.  Of course my step dad won. He is really strong. We had a fabulous time! Splash, splash, splash.

Winter’s Day

 By Jack

Have you ever woken up on a snowy day?  Whoosh went the wind.  This happened in 2012.  I said to mum “Can I go outside?”  “But you’ve still got your PJ’s on”, said Mum.  “Oh,” I said.  So I got changed into my clothes and gloves and wooly hat and then went outside.  I slipped on black ice.  The snow was deep.  Bang, bang, bang went the hail on the roof.  The snow was a deep as a mountain inside out. I had a dump truck so I put snow in it and threw it at my sister and dad.    My mum got covered by the cold snow.  Finally the freezing snow stopped.  As soon as the freezing cold snow had stopped hail started to fall from the clouds.  Bang, bang, bang it went on the roof. 

The next day I woke up. I didn’t want to get up.  It was hot as the sun flaming to earth, but I had to get up for school.  “Oh,” I said.  “It’s snowing, yay no school” I said. So I went back to bed.  I woke up at 10 o’clock.  As soon as I went out I slipped on slippery black ice.  Black ice is ice that you cannot see.  Me, my dad and my sister made a snowman.  We put a Crusaders scarf around his neck and put a carrot nose on and stone eyes and a mouth.  We took a picture of it and put it on Facebook.  I felt frozen.  The snow covered the ground like a white blanket.

Nicholas and his Spooky Night

By Nicholas

It was a spooky dark night and the wind was howling like a woof howling at the moon. It was the spooky time of the night and the trees looked like they were reaching out to grab the moon.  The tree trunks were like big shadows trying to get me.  The branches were rustling in the wind.  The trees were reflecting the moon through the window and onto my wall like a spooky hand trying to get me.

A Really Cold Winter

By Nicholas

Have you ever woken up on a day that was so white that it looked like a piece of paper that no-one has drawn on? I stuck out my tongue to feel a piece of hail. It felt like a frosty bee stinging me on the tongue.  I walked down steps and I looked around me, all I could see was white snow like a penguin's home. I reached out to grab a piece of hail and it felt like a snow leopard biting me on the tongue.

Last Winter

By Charlie

Last winter my sister and I built a snowman. It was huge and happy. It sparkled like sapphires being struck by the sun.  Then it starting hailing so we went inside. We went to the upstairs window and looked out. The snowman was dead.  He had been shot to shreds by the hail.  We wanted to rebuild it so we waited for the hail to stop.  Finally, we went outside and made snowballs instead. It was fun. We liked it so we made lots – shovel, shovel, shovel went our hands.  We rolled three giant balls each.  ‘Shhh’ went the balls.  It hailed that night. Clang, clang, clang went the hail on the roof.  I went outside and tasted the snow. It felt like frostbite.  It was cold. My breath was like a dragon's.  I looked up and I could only see cold wet snow.  Whoosh, it was racing like a snow tornado.  Something starting banging.  It was hail, bang, bang, bang! I went inside to have a milo. It was very warm and very nice.  It was a fantastic day!

Here are a selection of the stories from the children.  The other children are still finishing editing their work.  The children have worked hard to include descriptive language in their stories.

Winter

By Amber

Have you ever woken up on a cold winter’s day?  I have.  I ran down the cold stairs.   I looked out the window.  It was snowing.  I ran up the steps then I got into my warm clothes.  I went outside.  It was cold.  Then I ran inside.  I got a hot chocolate. Suddenly I heard a ‘sh sh sh’.  It was the snow coming down!  I made a sparkly snowman with my brother Reuben.  The snowman had a shiny black hat and a stripy wool scarf.  He had a smiley face made from a banana and blue eyes made from stones.  The wind blew the scarf around like a tornado.  The snow on the ground looked like a sparkly white blanket.  My dog came out and knocked the snowman over.  I felt sad so I built an igloo and the dog went inside it.  Then it started hailing and hailstones hit my head, OUCH!  I ran inside as fast as a cheetah.  It was awesome day.

Ethan’s Winter

By Ethan

One icy and frosty morning I woke up.  Down the hallway I could hear snow like hail.  First, I opened the door and I heard ‘CRUNCH’.  Then I saw my dog on snow as white as  a piece of paper.  I snuggled up to mum and dad… SNORE went dad… Then I heard ‘BEEP’.  My mum got a text message. It said no school YAY!  After that I got my gear on.  It felt real.  It was epic.  Then I sat by the warm fire.  Finally I ran a bath - SSSSS.  It was epic.  I wish you could have seen me and my dog.

The Second Best Day Of My Life

By Logan

Have you ever woken up on a snowy day and all you could see is the sun reflecting on the ice like glass?  I have! The land looked like a giant piece of paper with only the tree trunks showing.  The next day… whoosh!  I woke up and I looked out the window - it was snowing! I fell down the stairs.  I ran outside.  I made a massive snowman. It was the best day ever.

Last Year’s Winter

By James

Last winter it snowed like paper covering the land and little snowballs like scrunched up paper fell from the sky.  I went outside, it just kept on snowing.  We built an igloo for Elka.  It was freezing like I was in a giant freezer.  The ice was like hard diamonds covering the road. I could see trees covered in thick white snow and frost. Mum and Dad tried to make a snowman but it didn’t work that well.  The next day I woke up, put some warm clothes on and went outside.  When I was outside my brother and I had a snowball fight but I lost.  The igloo was largely melted and Elka was Scardie were investigating the invisible snow.  The next day the ice wasn’t translucent anymore.  It was an amazing day.

Winter’s Day

By Amelia

Have you ever woken up on a snowy morning?  I have.  I was in bed and then suddenly I woke up and I rushed to my window and hurried to open the curtains and then I saw the world it looked like a piece of paper and only the tree branches were showing.  I was amazed!  I rushed down the stairs and opened the plain white door.  I rushed into the dripping wet snow I went down the street – crunch, crunch, crunch! The playground looked like a big playhouse (yay) and then I saw dark clouds heading this way.  “Oh no!’ I said. I rushed back to the house and then my mum handed me a hot cup of milo.  It tasted like liquid heaven.  I said "thank you mummy very much!" It was an excellent day.

My Snowy Holiday

 By Liam

I woke up and opened the white curtains but they looked yellow in the morning sun. I saw white snow everywhere. The trees looked like white ghosts and only the tree trunks were showing.   Puffy white clouds dropped snow down onto our front yard and back yard.  I ran outside.  My brother Josh and my next-door neighbour Alex and I had a snowball fight.  We made 90 snowballs each.  It was hard to make hard balls of snow.  We made snow huts to protect us in the fight.  We threw our snowballs out of the windows… BOOM!  They smashed on the other huts… SMASH!  They crashed on the huts… CRASH! Then we went inside and had hot chocolate while we played x-box.  It was a great day.

Pou's Winter Story

The Snowy Dragon

By Pou

My toes were numb and icy.  Whoosh went the wind.  Dragon smoke came out of my dragon mouth. My ears felt numb too. My nose was frozen.  I could see snow coming out of the sky.  The clouds moved slowly like snowflakes.  Black tree branches reached out into the sky.  I opened the back door of my house and went inside.  After that I had a warm milo.  It tasted nice.  It was a great holiday.