Shared Writing

Here is a copy of our latest shared writing. We had to remember a snowy day last winter – what it looked like, felt like and sounded like. We are learning to write a story in three parts – an orientation, a sequence of events and a personal response. The children have been working really hard at "painting pictures with words", asking questions to hook the reader, using similes, onomatopoeia and ellipsis to make their writing more exciting. I think they have done a great job. All the writing is their own words except the last sentence, which I finished off as a temporary ending until we finish writing our story as a class. Ask your child which sentence they wrote. 

 Winter’s Day

Have you ever woken up on a snowy day and seen the sun reflecting on ice like glass? I have. I looked around in the morning light and all I could see was snow. The land looked like a piece of white paper and only the tree trunks were showing. 

First, I ran down the stairs as fast as I could.  I opened our black, shiny door and all I could see was snow surrounding the world.  Then I ran outside “crunch, crunch, crunch!” Grey smoke was billowing out of chimneys and floating into the air.  I could smell fire.  The house next door looked like an igloo.  The ice was transparent.  My house looked like a gigantic snowflake. Dragon smoke came out of my mouth every time I breathed.  My toes felt numb and my hands were freezing. As I puffed out air, I could see translucent glass floating around.  I saw dark sunlight like an eclipse.  Clouds were moving like a dragon's flame across the sky.  The wind was blowing high and hard like a parachute landing on my head.  The wind blew so hard it made a snowstorm. I stuck my tongue out and tasted the snowflakes.  They melted on my warm, wet, slimy tongue. Hail began to fall “crack, crack, crack” on the roof.  When the hail hit me it stung like a bee and it sounded like a giant stomping on the ground.  I ran inside and I sat down in front of a toasty fire. Puddles of water dripped onto the floor.

It felt good to be warm at last.